So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
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