she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
