Umm I'm too high to move.
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
