Your mouth is God's brothel.
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Randomize
