Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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