Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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