They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
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