I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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