I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
