im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Randomize
