This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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