3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
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