She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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