I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
i need some magic done to my vagina
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Randomize
