Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
