they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
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