I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
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