How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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