then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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