So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
either way he was missing a nipple.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
