More tranny stories later!
I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
