I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Randomize
