I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Randomize
