you guys were way drunker than both of me
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Randomize
