break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Randomize
