don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
