so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
Randomize
