I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
