I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Randomize
