My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
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