We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
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