my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
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