I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
