i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Randomize
