I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
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