Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Screwed.edu
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
