Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
