And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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