She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are two peas in an std pod
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
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