Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
wanna go halves on a baby?
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Randomize
