Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
