Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
You smell like stripper and shame
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Randomize
