Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Randomize
