Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
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