So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
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