watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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