its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
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