It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
