i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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