Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Randomize