i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
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