she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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