He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
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