Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Randomize
