come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Randomize
