Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
