is your mom at the bar?
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Randomize
