WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
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