HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
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