Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
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