its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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