But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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