I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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