you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
My dick has a subreddit
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Randomize