Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Randomize
