You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
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